What do you mean by “appealing”?
Something that’s cool and has any kind of correlation.
I’m this person and I often get misunderstood. I can be the center of a room and I’m loud not quiet. People attribute this with being an extrovert. I am absolutely not, I am an introvert. It’s draining for me to be front and center but I don’t mind doing it. I recharge by being alone. I have to explain this to folks often.
In my mind, it’s a best of both worlds being able to do both. But the introvert/extrovert is about how you gain energy, not whether you are shy or center of attention.
I’m not really this person but I’ve often been told I am too comfortable with people to be an introvert.
I can attest to this though. Even if I’m not front and center of a social gathering, it’s still incredibly draining to me, and would take a few days to recharge. Even longer if I’ve got to be in charge and be front and center (takes a few weeks to recharge from that).
I think it’s a difference between what is natural (being alone, recharging, etc.) and what is forced (being front and center in a crowd). Being an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t learn being comfortable being front and center in a crowd. As you’ve said, it’s a matter of how you gain energy and what mode you’re most at home with.
I think a lot of people convolute introversion with social anxiety.
My social life vastly improved when I switched to working remotely. When I wasn’t, I was burning all my social energy at work and nights and weekends I’d go into hermit mode. Now I’m sitting on my social charger all day and have the energy to hang out with my friends after work/on weekends. Lots of them don’t believe I’m introverted.
A bartender friend coined the term “closet extrovert” to describe me and I don’t hate it.
This is a common misconception about what an extrovert and introvert is.
Extroverts are energized by being around others but can’t create their own energy.
Introverts create their own energy but need to be alone to recharge.
It’s not about whether you’re outgoing or not.
There’s only really two things that end up fitting the title:
Actual extroverts who claim to be introverted which is really incredibly rare (and in my experience, have all been pathological liars elsewhere too).
Introverts that aren’t shy.
I am introvert. I could probably still talk your ear off if I am in the mood and have something to talk about. But it is mentally draining being around people and I always need lots of alone time to recharge.
Conversely, an extrovert could be shy and quiet but is recharging by just being around people. Maybe they’re just not in the right mood because they were alone too long, which is mentally draining for them.
The terms do not have much to do with how engaged you are with others.
