Too bad you decided to be a shit bag in real life. Not gonna miss this dude one ounce.

Doesnt even need to involve alcohol. If you panic in a rip current, the ocean is going to fucking win 100% of the time. Nature be crazy yo.

Someone that knows what they’re doing: I will watch this show.

I would also consider the President being involved at all in an ongoing criminal investigation into a child sex trafficking ring as a giant fucking red flag but that’s just me.

I think it depends on how the actor prepares. Keanu is known to be super involved in his stunts and has done a fair amount of actual firearms training. I believe he’s competed in some amateur events.

I would absolutely expect him to be significantly more skilled with firearms than the average person.

And even if he wasn’t John Wick, I just cannot imagine the justification for fucking with Keanu Reeves.

Hey it’s me, I’m you from the year 2028. The only way out is to take more lsd but we didn’t realize it soon enough and now global warming (we’re calling it that again) has made the necessary ingredients impossible to source. You have to take a lot more acid right now in order to break out.

Godspeed traveler.

James Wan begins writing furiously

The crazy thing is, I think he’s more worried about this than he might need to be.

Theres a solid chance that legit evidence of this mother fucker raping children could come out, and he doesn’t dip below his floor of support. “THIS will be the thing that brings him down” has been proven wrong sooooo many times.

Silence! We do not speak its name!

No no, they got the money. They refused to use it for this and instead gave it to the sheriff.

They’re stupid and “welfare queens”.

You’re being a tool. Stop it.

I’d prefer a giant asteroid, but an apocalyptic volcanic eruption would probably do just fine too.

“Hey anyone wanna try this extra crack that I have?”

It’s so much harder to fake being a Nazi than it is to fake being a tiny bit decent. I guess I’m just not as practiced at the Nazi thing as your average conservative is though.

After being turned into a fine paste of course.

But don’t you see? By losing, we sent a message to the Democratic Party leadership and now they’re totally moving left!

And at a high rate of fire.

Or the bodyguard can be super cool just one time…

Stephen Miller is a cuck bitch Nazi who has still refused to respond to my challenge to a bare handed fight to the death.

Pussy.

I’ll start loading my board game collection into the car.